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What were you doing ten years ago?
“I have absolutely no idea. Roughly the same as what I'm doing now, though back then we had all four children at home still so it would have been a very different setting.”
And what's been your personal highlight of the last ten years?
“Staying alive and continuing to do what I like doing.”
Best album of the last ten years?
“This is fantastically uncool but one of my favourites is the first LP by Laura Cantrell ('Not the Tremblin' Kind') because I can sing along with it. It's a country record really but she's a money broker in New York.”
Has Jockey Slut ever been of any use to you at all?
“It has, actually, as a reminder to me of the life I'd be leading if I were 30 years younger.”
Ever felt like moving to London like we did?
“No, I did exactly the opposite about 30 years ago and I've never regretted it. I'm not a city person and neither is my wife.”
Have you danced to a record in public since 1993?
“I’m not much of a dancing man. Only in a limited way most people wouldn't recognise as dancing. The only time I do that is when I'm 'playing out', as you young people say. When I've done Fabric or Sonar I've danced to quite a few records.”
How would you describe your DJing skills?
“Virtually non-existent. Because of the music involved I don't think anyone could mix them in the approved manner. All I can do is creative segues.”
Are you going to throw a track in at the wrong speed for authenticity on your forthcoming Fabric mix CD?
(Laughs) “There's a great temptation to do that. It's an idea. I'll think about that.”
Is 'Teenage Kicks‘ on there?
“It certainly is.”
Any curveballs on there?
“There’s a few African tunes on there, a few reggae things. I wanted to put a Status Quo track on there, but they said there was unease in the office about that and I'm too old for confrontation. I was going to put 'Down, Down' on there because whenever I play it people think, 'Oh, this is so uncool'. Then they think: 'Let's go for it!’.”
If Fabric asked you to curate the whole club, who would you choose to play?
“People I know and like. Our daughter Alexandra’s boyfriend Ashley, who does drum‘n’bass stuff in the basement of his house. Paul Thomas – who does stuff for Radio 1 – is a nice man; I'd put him on, and I'd try and get people like Jeff Mills.”
You name checked Jeff Mills on 'Room 101'...
“It's one of those things. It's the nature of what you do that you get to meet these people usually only once. We were thinking about that the other day sat around the kitchen table, the number of famous people I've met once so none of them become mates. Jeff hardly ever pops by. I've only met him a couple of times, as I have Richie Hawtin, Dave Clarke and Carl Cox.”
Who or what is your sartorial inspiration?
“I don't think I really have one. By nature I'm a scruffy bloke, probably because I was compelled to wear smart clothes throughout all of my childhood.”
If there was a website devoted to a part of your body, what would you least like it to be?
“My stomach.”
Kiss have their own condoms and credit cards. What would you like to endorse?
“Something equally useful. Nail clippers.”
If your name was followed by a noise, Intel Pentium processor-style, what would it be?
“The sound of breaking wind.”
Which three words would your wife choose to describe you?
“I'll ask her. (Shouts) She: ‘What three words would you use to describe me. You know, lazy, fat, bald?’ (Sheila: 'Kind, good-looking...') Be honest...”
Bookend your record collection.
“The first was 'Blue Tango' by Ray Martin and His Concert Orchestra. The last record, for a friend who's organising a country and western night, was a line-dancing compilation. From the quintessentially uncool to the quintessentially uncool.”
Name three Johns you admire?
“John Walters, who was my producer for 20 years or more. 'She!' Sorry, my wife does a lot of thinking. (Consults wife) John Ayton, who's working on our windows at the moment. He's a carpenter and plumber and everything. There's so much of his input into the house in which we live that if he moved we'd have to move as well. (More discussion) John Smith.”
If your TV was jammed on one programme forever, what would it be?
(Discussion with wife that features 'The Office’).“Peter Kay I could watch. (To wife) 'Well, it's got to be something!'”
What nicknames have you answered to?
“I used to be called Cake because I had some problem with the secretion of sleep. I used to get so much sleep in my eyes overnight that I had to be led to the sink to wash it all away.”
Who would play you in John Peel – The Movie?
“Our son William as he's very like me.”
What's your most overused phrase?
“To Sheila: Are you going to be on that phone much longer?”
Have you ever ridden a horse?
“Actually, I have. But a very long time ago. Our daughter Alexandra had a horse, and I was scared stiff of it, but I did ride a horse when I was on holiday in Cornwall when I was about ten. Oh, actually, I used to ride them fairly regularly when I lived in the States.”
